One Good Mother

One Good Mother? Are you serious? That’s terrible. I’m going to need to fire my joke person

Following an apocalyptic disaster, a lone robot called Mother (motion capture by Luke Hawker, voiced by Rose Byrne) sets about repopulation the human race. Raising Daughter (Clara Rugaard) from a small embryo, all is peaceful as we’re treated to several cute scenes of mother-daughter interactions. At least until the arrival of the Woman (Hilary Swank), which shouldn’t even be possible due to the outside supposedly being plagued by a virus. At least that’s what Mother said. Woman says that the thing that’s actually wiping everybody out is machines like Mother.

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An enjoyable case of déjà vu

Olivia Wilde sets the bar high with her directorial debut

To start out with, this movie is very similar to Superbad. Yeah, I’m sure I totally just blew your mind with that observation. In fact, I bet I’m the only person to have realized that. Interestingly, watching Booksmart and Superbad is a good exercise in seeing how society has constructed gender. Because the main character of both films is insufferable, but for opposite reasons. Seth (Jonah Hill) is that annoying person who doesn’t care about his grades because he’d rather spend his time thinking about sex while Molly (Beanie Feldstein) is that annoying person who talks about nothing but how perfect they are at everything. A contrast made greater by the fact that the actors are brother and sister.

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Prepare for War

All he needs are lots of guns a Matrix reference

Before I go on, let’s just back up a little and go over all the bad decisions made in-universe that have brought us to this point. So, Isoef Tarasov (Alfie Allen) is the son of this New York mob boss Viggo (Michael Nyqvist) and a total moron. How much of a moron you might ask? Well, he and his friends seem to be the only people within a hundred-mile radius who don’t realize that the man whose car they just stole and whose dog they killed is legendary bada*s John Wick (Keanu Reeves)(NSFW). Which leads to the events of the first movie.

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To think, I was just a small child when Iron Man came out

I can’t believe that makes me feel old

Thanos (Josh Brolin) has killed off half the universe and there’s no hope in sight. Except, could the answer possibly lie in the time vortex that Michelle Pfeiffer mentioned at the very end of Ant-Man and the Wasp? I don’t consider that a spoiler as I assume that you’re smart enough to figure that one out. However, just know that like with The Last Jedi, I won’t be marking any spoilers in this review.

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The one that you either really love or really hate

Can we at least agree that this is better than the prequels?

In honor of Star Wars Day, I decided to give my two cents on the installment that has caused a bigger divide than the time that Moses parted the Red Sea. Since this review has so many spoilers in it, I’ve decided not to even bother covering them all up. So read at your own peril.

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Hey ho, let’s go…again

I hope you like remakes, because I have a feeling we’re about to get a lot more

Normally, I’d start my review with a basic outline of what happens before going into my thoughts and feelings. Except, given that the advertising wasn’t exactly shy about telling you what the plot is for both this movie and the original, I don’t think that’s necessary. Instead, I’m just going to launch right into the good and bad qualities of this movie.

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One Captain Marvel movie down, one to go

Thankfully, this one doesn’t have any floss dancing in it

The thing I really enjoyed about this movie is that it wasn’t your typical superhero origin story movie. The movie starts with the main character already as a superhero while her origin story is slowly unfolded as the movie goes on, kind of like in Batman (1989). We don’t even learn that Captain Marvel’s (Brie Larson) Earth name is Carol Danvers until midway through the movie.

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You should have just quit when you were ahead Rowling

Witness a film that lacks the magic that made the previous entries so special

The movie begins with public enemy #1 Gellert Grindelwald (Johnny Depp) escaping from prison. Why, because they chose to lock up the most dangerous wizard in the whole world as opposed to, you know, executing him for his numerous crimes. Plus, this whole big, boring action sequence that opens the movie seems a little unnecessary, because we all knew Grindelwald was going to escape, or else there’d be no plot. Did we really need to see how he did it?

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Happy birthday to me–wait, that’s a different movie

A horror movie sequel that’s a little hard to explain without giving something away

Happy Death Day 2U is the follow up to Happy Death Day, one of the many films that came out alongside the great horror movie resurgence of 2017. Other examples including It, Split, and of course Get Out. Though both Happy Death Day films lean more towards the comedy genre to an extent greater than those other films. Rivaled only really by Get Out, a movie that did get really funny (NSFW) every once despite it’s dark subject matter. Not that I’m saying that Happy Death Day is in any way a better movie than Get Out.

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This is the sequel I’ve waited 14 years for?

Just to be clear, it’s not that the movie’s bad, it’s just that it’s…disappointing

The Parr family is back, in this long awaited sequel to the 2004 animated classic. Continuing right where the original film left off, Mr.Incredible (Craig T. Nelson), Elastigirl (Holly Hunter), Violet (Sarah Vowell),Dash (Huck Milner), and Jack-Jack (Eli Fucile and Nicholas Bird) wind up in hotwater after failing to stop there latest supervillain. Enter sibling team Winston (Bob Odenkirk) and Evelyn Deavor (Catherine Keener), who come to them with a plan to lift the ban on superheroes. Except, what’s this, the Deavors don’t want Mr. Incredible to be their spokesperson, they want Elastigirl?          

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